Monday, June 25, 2012

Phone Conversations

Have you ever had one of these conversations?

Me: hello
Me: hello
Me: hellooooooo??
Caller: Hello (with a cacophony of everyday Accra street sounds in the background)
Me: Hello
Caller: hello?!
Me: yes hi, May I speak with Mr. A?
Caller: Hello? Ei, I can’t hear o.
Me: silence and a blank stare
Caller: hello?
Me: (Deep, heavy sigh.) Um, hi…I’m trying to get in touch with Mr. A
Caller: Who? Who do you want?
Caller: please I’m coming
Me: ok, thanks.
Caller: hello, who is this?
Me: I’m Miss Raine and I was calling to speak with Mr. A?
Caller: who?
Me: Wrong number
Caller: hel…
Me: click and hang up


My calling card has been wasted.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Oh My #$%^!@& Goodness!!!!!!!

A few days ago, I had THEE single most unpleasant test in my whole entire life...hands down. 

LONG Back story version: 
I never had allergies while I lived in Florida. The word allergy was a very foreign concept to me and it wasn't even part of my vocabulary. I don't even think I knew anyone who had allergies....either that or I was completely oblivious to people who suffered from this horrible, HORRIBLE condition.

Fast forward to 2006 and my move to the DMV, no not the Department of Motor Vehicles. DMV as in DC (D), Maryland (M) and Virginia (V) metro area, for those of you who don't know. You're welcome.

Anyway, one spring afternoon, my throat and ears were really really itchy and my eyes were watery but I didn't really think anything it. About two years later, I got really sick, so sick I was out of work for a couple of days. I had the chills, the worst pressure headache which was so bad I would feel really dizzy, sniffles, terrible coughing, the works. Turns out I had horrible sinus infection and was given a cocktail of medication, 6 pills to be exact, never mind the fact that all but 2 of the medicine worked and I was back in my doctors office 2 weeks later to try some new medication which thankfully worked. But I digress. My doctor then informed me that I had allergies and put me on Nasonex and told me to also start taking Zyrtec. Zyrtec by the way cost a little over a dollar per pill and is almost never on sale :-(

Fast forward again to the beginning of this year...I was dreading the spring pollen season, dreading it so bad that I took a vacation to Accra to escape the peak pollen season. But that plan didn't work out...I was sneezing and itching away while I was in Accra too. I've been sneezing, itching and sniffling since late last year ergo I decided to make an appointment to see an otolaryngologist and this is where my story begins....

Short version:
I had an allergy test done and I got pricked 75, SEVENTY FIVE(!) times. In one hour. Nurse wanted to do an additional 10 shots. I declined. I had no idea what I was in store for as I was thinking it was going to be an allergy scratch test the whole time. It wasn't. I got 75 different allergens of various  concentrations placed under my skin on both arms. I considered 'breaking free' and running out of the office each time she poked me. Oh, and I also happen to have a deep fear of needles... Each shot costs $13, multiply by 75. Thank God my insurance covers it 100%.

I was numb when she opened up the pack of syringes (about 40 per pack) and the only thought that kept running through my mind was surely, she will not be using ALL THOSE on me. She did. She also opened up a second pack. I started to shake. I went into panic mode when I set eyes what seemed like a million and one vials of allergens. I kept telling the nurse that I was in a nightmare. I repeated a lot, too many times to count. Torture ended. I drove straight to the shopping center and treated myself.

This is what the test looks like...35 on one arm and 30 on the other. IT SUCKED

My head hurts again just thinking looking at this picture.

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Some people are just unfit to be parents!

Why are you yelling at a three year old...A THREE(!) year old to sit his MUTHAFUCKING ASS down?? Really? REALLY?? In front of strangers?? At a children's hospital, possibly the worst place to do that nonetheless?? And threatening to BEAT HIS ASS. Perhaps you want CPS to take the child away!

Maybe its just me, but why does it seem that most of the individuals who just have no business being parents are usually the ones who have MULTIPLE children? Ugh.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Case of the missing passport

What do you do?

You are getting ready to head out to the airport to board an international flight in a few hours…when you realize your passport is no where to be found.

That happened to me about 2 months ago.

About four hours to my scheduled departure time, as I started to do one last check of everything I would need for my trip back, I realized I had everything else but my passport. Now I’m usually the calm in the face of adversity type of person so my first natural thought was, “it has got to be somewhere in here, just look around”. So, my first line of action was to empty my purse and thoroughly search through it. Nothing. Next, I unpacked my luggage and went through every single item just in case I had accidentally packed it in there somewhere… still nothing. I then looked under the bed, inside and underneath all the night stands, dressers, drawers, trash can (ew!) and every other piece of furniture in the room like a crazy person, in the event that it had accidentally ended up there somehow. Same result, NOTHING.

Okay.....time to back track and try to think of the last time I saw it then I realized- about 5 days prior, I had brought my passport along with me because we were going to go to the airport and I was told to bring it with me to allow me entry into the airport. We ended up not going to the airport that day but then I remembered, I had briefly taken out all the contents of my tiny satchel to get to my wallet while we were stopped over at a tiny restaurant for dinner….and that’s when panic begun to set in. OH MY GOD, I HAD LOST MY PASSPORT!!!!!

So I freaked out, but only for about 5 minutes lol. Then I started to think of the next the airline to let them know about my situation (like they would really give two craps), report my passport as missing and then begin the process of applying for a replacement passport or some sort of emergency travel document the following day. I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized; I had absolutely no proof of citizenship with me, yikes. That was when I really started to panic. How was I going to prove to the consulate that I was indeed a lawful citizen and needed assistance? I couldn’t think straight after that realization, so I stopped everything I was doing, including thinking- and at the time, the million thoughts running through my head each second were very irrational- to clear my head for a few minutes.

After I cleared my head and calmed down, I had a strong inclination to go through my wallet for some odd reason. I wasn’t sure what I was looking in my wallet for, but I just knew I had to look in my wallet…and that was when I found my voter ID card. YES! One proof of citizenship!!!!! Woo hoo! Coming off of the excitement of finding my voter ID, I reached for my iPad for another unexplained reason and what do you know, my passport comes flying out from behind the case…yeah. Needless to say, I said a quick prayer of thanks and did my happy dance for 10 straight minutes with the biggest, cheesiest and goofiest grin on my face, and then I was off to the airport to catch my flight with ZERO problems after that.

I’ve never ‘lost’ any document of such importance and as such, learned a very important lesson from that experience. I heeded to the advice from the Department of State as soon as I got back home: Always have at least 2 copies of your passport handy when traveling…one copy should be in your possession and kept in a safe place, and the other copy should be kept by a trusted person.

I have 10 copies of my passport now, because I never want to be caught in a situation like that ever again!